People really want there to be a cut and dry black and white answer for this question. But there really is no answer that can be given in a single sentence. There are all sorts of qualifiers when it comes to looking at whether guys and girls can just be friends. What is your definition of friendship? Whose viewpoint are you looking at it from? Why are you asking in the first place? When you think about whether or not guys and girls can just be friends, you probably have examples in your own life that you can turn to. And even then, chances are there are different things that have happened with each friendship. There are plenty of guys and girls who are friends without anything else ever happening, but there are also plenty who have eventually developed feelings for one another which resulted in a romance. And let’s not forget all of the complications associated with different types of relationships as people try to navigate whether or not you can be intimate without taking things to the next level emotionally. It’s a big ball of potential trouble but at the same time it’s just a fact of life. It’s also a question that kind of has an answer as long as you take some things into account.
It seems that girls are able to be friends with guys a lot easier without making things complicated. Of course there are exceptions and plenty of examples where girls are friends with a guy who they have a secret crush on. But in general, girls are able to keep things at a platonic level if they truly don’t feel anything more for a particular friend. Guys on the other hand are very different. For the most part, when a guy is friends with a girl, chances are he wants to sleep with her. Now of course “wants” is a misleading term because let’s face it, guys basically want to sleep with a reasonably attractive girl. But in the case of friendship, let’s put it this way: if there is a guy who had a female friend and that female friend offered to sleep with him, chances are he would say yes. Guys are usually not friends with girls who wouldn’t be likely candidates for a sexual relationship under any scenario. In other words, if he’s not attracted to you in some way, he’s probably not going to be your friend in the first place.
That may come as a shock to some girls, but it’s really time to wise up. This is not to say that all of your guy friends have a secret crush on you or want to be your boyfriend. But if you were to one day tell him that you wanted to be together for just one night, chances are he would say yes. He probably find you attractive enough that he wouldn’t hesitate. Of course there are factors that might enter into his mind if he took a step back and think about it. He might think about whether or not it would ruin the friendship or the logistics of planning something like this. But at the end of the day, if you just cut it down to basic animal instincts and his impulses, he would want to be with you no problem.
The situation is very different for girls because if your best guy friend did the same thing, chances are you would say no. There are exceptions especially if you have a crush on your guy friend, but in general you have the ability to be friends with someone and not necessarily want to sleep with them. Does this make girls less shallow? Probably not, is just the guys are programmed differently when it comes to attraction and meeting. Girls put a bigger emphasis on emotions and the bonds of friendship.
All of this might seem like generalizations based on stereotypes, but think about your own friendships and see if it’s true. These are things that go on behind the scenes most often in people’s minds and deepest thoughts. They are obviously not things you share with your friends unless you want to take things to the next level and risk things by making a move. These are unspoken actions and it doesn’t really hurt a friendship if the mechanics behind relationships with men and women are broken down to the basics. You don’t have to overanalyze everything and be suspicious of your friends of the opposite sex. But at the same time, it helps to be realistic and realize that people have different motivations and some of them are entirely different than what you see on the surface. How is any of this information useful to you? Here are some final things to think about:
Just because a guy is friends with a girl doesn’t mean he wants to be her boyfriend.
Your guy friend would probably say yes if you asked him to sleep with you.
There are two distinct categories for girls: guys who are friends and guys who are potential boyfriends. If you are trapped in the friend zone, there’s almost no chance to get into the other category.
If you take things to the next level with your friend, there is very little chance of going back to the way things were.
Being intimate does complicate things but it’s not necessarily bad. Just realize that things will change and it might mean the end of your friendship or even the ability to hang around with someone else.
If you have a crush on your friend, it’s a very difficult decision whether or not to reveal it. Perhaps nothing in this article will help you to make your decision because you never know exactly how the other person will react. Sometimes you just have to take the risk and see what happens.
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