Everybody makes mistakes – and this statement is entirely applicable when talking about dating. If you encountered someone who claims to have a perfect dating history, you are probably talking to a liar. Dating has the potential to result in a horrible encounter filled with embarrassing moments. But maybe that’s what makes it so fun. The challenge is to live through the difficult times, learn from your mistakes, and finally encounter that perfect potential soulmate.
If you have a habit of having bad dates, then maybe there is a reason why. Have a look at some of these common dating mistakes to make sure that you aren’t guilty of committing them. It’s easy to blame the other person for a bad experience, but sometimes we have to have a certain degree of accountability. So if you are making any of these mistakes, consider rectifying the situation and you might just find your way to finally having a perfect date. 1. Living in the past. If someone has had a series of negative dating experiences, then they might be less able to embrace the possibility of success. They can go into a date thinking that it is going to fail, or that things will eventually end up falling apart. Don’t make your current date pay for the mistakes of people who have treated you badly in the past. A first date is a chance to make a fresh start, so don’t take that opportunity for granted.
2. Expecting too much. If you go into a first date situation with images of wedding bells and romantic vacations in your mind, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. A first date is nothing more than a chance to get to know someone else. If there is chemistry then that’s great, but you should still have realistic expectations. If your expectations are too high you also are at risk for coming off as desperate if your date catches a whiff of your true intentions.
3. Being too picky. Some people conclude that a person is not an adequate partner way too quickly. In a way, this might even be a defence mechanism – to reject someone before they have a chance to reject you. You should always give somebody a fair shot and remember that you cannot possibly know everything about someone given the time frame of a single date. Don’t make the mistake of eliminating someone as a candidate for a reason that does not matter.
4. Bad conversation. The most important aspect of any date is conversation. This is where you will win or lose the affections of the person you are spending time with. Make sure that your conversation flows naturally and that it doesn’t turn into an interrogation. The key to a good conversation lies in listening to what the other person has to say. Absorb the information that they give you and ask questions that will further the conversation. If you find numerous uncomfortable silences during your date, then you know that this is one area you can work on.
5. Not having any mystery. You want to get to know your date, and allow him or her to know you as well. But you also don’t want to give away everything right away. Be selective about what you choose to share without being deceptive. There is a bit of strategy about creating a certain degree of mystery about yourself that can make you stand out from the rest. Blabbing your whole life story to your date is a sure way to make them lose interest.
6. Talking about your ex. This is a common mistake made by people who are freshly out of relationships. It is also made by people who haven’t dated in awhile. It is ironic that talking about past relationships is so tempting and seemingly so easy – yet it is surely considered date poison. Even if you feel comfortable with your date, don’t bring up the topic of past relationships, and steer the conversation away if you feel it coming up.
7. Being too serious. It is important to have a sense of humour about a variety of topics, and in life in general. If you are serious about everything then that can be a real turnoff for a potential partner. This doesn’t mean you have to become a comedian, but showing that you can give and take a joke goes a long way towards dating success. A sour face and serious tone throughout the date is unlikely to be attractive to anyone.
8. Forgetting your manners. Your mother has already told you everything you need to know about how to behave on a date. You shouldn’t have to consult online dating tips to learn about good manners. Never underestimate the importance of manners and common courtesy. Just because we live in a world where the Internet can make social interaction faster and more impersonal, doesn’t mean that you can forget about manners in a face-to-face situation. So make sure to maintain eye contact, say “please” and “thank you”, and don’t talk on your cell phone during a date.
9. Being too needy. Desperation and neediness are unattractive traits that get a bad rap. Sometimes a person is not quite as needy as they appear. The problem is that neediness just stands out so much that it is hard to ignore. So without engaging in mind games, let your date know that you have other options. And in fact, if you are just in the initial stages of meeting then you certainly should be devoting energy to other people as well. The best way not to appear needy is to actually not be needy.
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