If you believe in true love and romance, then you aren’t going to like this post. This is an article that is taking on the most cynical view of love and dating possible. We wanted to explore the other side of things since the rest of this site is rather optimistic about finding a soulmate and your perfect match. Things don’t always work out like they do in movies, and sometimes it can be quite shocking to be given a dose of reality. But that’s what happens every day due to a variety of circumstances, many of which will affect everyone at least once in their lives. Some people become so bitter that they stop believing in dating happiness altogether, and this article might be in line with their thinking.
At the heart of it all, it’s important to remember that humans are animals when it boils down to it. We are subject to laws that govern nature, and no matter what anyone else thinks, we are still a part of that world. We might be able to think and feel while making decisions for ourselves, but we still can’t get away from the fact we are animals with basic instincts. This is why we will always see humans do things that extend beyond what is rational or thoughtful. Sometimes we give into our cravings, act on impulses, and do things with self-preservation in mind. The big question is are human beings able to overcome our base natural instincts for the betterment of relationships and the pursuit of love. The answer is an emphatic no!
Dating is just a manifestation of natural selection at work. Human beings are born to procreate and this is the major force that drives almost all of our decisions whether we realize it or not. We are programmed to get together with someone else in an attempt to mate and keep the species going. That is basically our main goal and all the rest is just fluff that hides the real truth. Every important action that you will ever make is related to finding a mate and propagating the species. Whether it comes to finding a career, looking for a place to live, or basic decisions that affect your daily life, they are all tied to this goal in some way.
Love is a physical response that binds people together in a way that increases the chances of mating. When you think you are in love, it’s more likely that you will engage in intimate relations which obviously results in children from a pure scientific standpoint. Any thoughts or feelings related to thinking that love is about finding your soulmate or a perfect match is all in your head. You feel it, and it seems very real, but it is a short lasting biological phenomenon programmed into our systems. There is nothing magical about it, and it has nothing to do with destiny. It is the animal in us making us attracted to someone else so that we are more likely to procreate.
Men will always be programmed to have as many mates as possible so that they can spread their DNA and procreate. This is a phenomenon found everywhere in nature no matter what type of species you examine. There is no reason to believe that humans are any different just because we are able to talk or use computers. This is why you see the phenomenon of players, men that cheat, or any number of the most common things that men do related to sex.
Women are programmed to find the most appropriate mate possible so that they will have children that are more likely to thrive and succeed. There are many signals they respond to including wealth, power, and of course appearance. It would be nice if personality played more of a role, but unfortunately it usually takes a backseat to these other mitigating factors. After all, in nature it’s the most powerful males that are able to procreate not the ones with the best personality. Humans are no different.
Have you ever noticed that most couples are usually within the same “looks range” in terms of appearance? It’s rare that you see a so-called ugly person going out with a very attractive one. This is of course unless it involves a man with extreme wealth or power who usually has no problems finding a beautiful wife. But if you are not that great looking and you don’t have a lot of money either, the fact is you will have a tougher time than your counterparts who have greater advantages. A personality might make you a suitable friend, but in terms of being deemed appropriate for a mate, you’re going to have a tough time.
The same can be said of the women since men are much more visual creatures who are obsessed and turned on by appearance. It might seem unfair, but it’s all natural selection at work. Basically, ugliness is a trait that will make procreating more difficult. The fact that ugly people can’t find anyone to mate with insurers that their genes are not passed on. Over time, nature selects them out of the mix so that people with more attractive features are the ones who go on. Under this logic, you might ask yourself why there are still ugly people in the world. It would be reasonable to assume that over time they would have been weeded out by now. The fact is, there are enough unattractive people in the world, and perhaps are always will be, that they will be able to find mates. They will be able to partner up and have children, but you can rest assured it will not be with extremely attractive people.
People who believe in true love and romance should realize that these basic rules of science are never broken. It’s also important to understand that the feeling of love fades eventually. It is clear that humans are designed to procreate, but it’s debatable whether or not they are meant to stay together for life. It’s not surprising that the divorce rate is so high and people who are so seemingly in love at first can eventually come to hate each other. Staying together when you’re children are already grown up doesn’t really serve any biological benefit in making your offspring stronger. At that point, they will have already learned all of the lessons needed to survive or fail on their own. Given the fact that there will still be the urge to procreate, it’s not all that surprising to see that couples who have been together for a long time might find other people they want to be with.
In the end, the best you can hope for is to meet somebody special that you enjoy spending time with. You will feel love and you might even convince yourself that you’ll be together forever. You might have kids and enjoy some good years together. But statistically speaking, chances are things aren’t going to last. Of course there are exceptions, but do you really think a couple that has been together for 50 years is truly happy or have a just settled into a familiar pattern that they cannot escape from? You might only know that answer once you reach the age of 80 and see for yourself.
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