We all know the things that can be considered prefect gifts for your girlfriend. Among them include things like diamonds and…well diamonds are pretty much the only perfect gift. Everything else is subject to being returned faster than a plate full of lasagne with hair in it. Yes girls are a finicky bunch and what they might like one day might differ from what’s in fashion the next. It should stand to reason that it’s the thought that counts, but even the best girlfriend has a hard time hiding the disappointment on her face when she gets a bad gift.
2.37 seconds. It take 2.37 seconds for a girl to determine whether or not she like the gift you bought her. In that time she will calculate the following:
1. How much did this cost?
2. What is this used for?
3. Will it make me look fat?
4. Am I fat? (35 percent of the time the real answer is yes)
5. Do my friends have one of these?
6. Why isn’t this a diamond?
Even if she appears to like your gift, you will be lucky if she uses (or wears) is once before you never see it again. So let’s just get that out of the way first, your girlfriend isn’t going to like the gift you buy her no matter what. The good news is that it’s not about whether she likes it, but how little she dislikes it. If you can manage to get her something that she doesn’t find totally objectionable, then you’ve won the game and you can go to sleep that night confident in the fact that she won’t pick a fight with you once she gets out of the shower. So the point of this article is to learn from my mistakes. I’m going to give you a list of gifts you should never give your girlfriend. How do I know about these things? Because I’ve actually given these things before and experienced firsthand how much a female can dislike a gift.
1. A gift certificate. Apparently a gift certificate equates to me saying “I’m too lazy to shop for you”. I was thinking more along the lines of “since you never like what I get, why don’t you just go buy something you want for yourself with what is essentially cash that I’m giving to you out of my own pocket”. In all fairness it’s understandable if you aren’t thrilled with a gift card for bachelorette party supplies or a vegan restaurant.
2. A rabbit. I bought my girlfriend a rabbit one time because I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. She said it would take too much trouble to take care of. Not as much trouble as it was to take care of her, let me tell you that right now.
3. Perfume. Believe me, perfume is not something a girl will wear unless she buys it for herself. God knows why, it all smells the same to me anyways. She still has a really expensive bottle of perfume I bought for her sitting in the bottle untouched. Too bad I can’t drink it like mouthwash and get drunk, at least someone would get some use out of it.
4. A newspaper subscription. Who doesn’t want a newspaper subscription? Ok, so this one was pretty unromantic, but I thought the practical uses of having a newspaper every day would override the need to get something spectacular for her birthday.
5. A scale. The woman weighs herself every day. I thought this gift would come in handy. Somehow she thought I was telling her that she needed to watch her weight. Sometimes you just can’t win.
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