These days it’s extremely rare to hear a guy ask a girl directly if she would like to go on a date. In fact, there might have never been a time when it was appropriate to come right out and say “would you like to go on a date sometime?”. There’s many smoother ways to ask for a date without being so direct, and these days it seems the most appropriate thing to say is “would you like to go for coffee sometime?” Without saying that you are asking for a date, it is automatically implied and those people know exactly what you’re talking about. In fact, going for coffee is now synonymous with first dates and it seems to have coincided with the proliferation of coffee houses and shops that have popped up everywhere.
Even if you don’t happen to drink coffee, going to a coffee shop is actually a pretty great first date destination. It’s a relaxed and casual atmosphere that doesn’t bring any unnecessary expectations to the occasion. It’s not like going to an expensive romantic restaurant that can actually make things quite awkward if it’s a first date. And it’s not as unorganized I simply asking if somebody wants to hang out sometime. People also appreciate that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to go for coffee, and it’s perfectly fine for either party to pick up the tab depending on who asked for the date in the first place.
There was a time when going for a movie was heavily associated with first dates but experts everywhere have determined it’s actually a pretty bad place to meet, even if you’re talking about romantic movies. The most important factor about going on a first date is being able to have a conversation and learning about the other person. Unless you have the power of mental telepathy, there’s no way to communicate with your date while sitting through a two-hour movie in the dark. Going for coffee on the other hand puts you in a face-to-face situation where there’s nothing to do except sip coffee and make small talk. It gives you a chance to have a good conversation where both people participate and feel comfortable at the same time.
Another great thing about going for coffee is that there’s no set schedule you have to adhere by. For example, if you planned a romantic hot air balloon ride and you pretty much have to stay trapped in that basket for however long the session is supposed to last. If you discover there’s not much chemistry, then it can actually be a nightmare. But when you go for coffee, you can stay as long as you like and there skillful ways to make excuses to cut it short. Basically it’s the best low pressure situation for both people that can also develop into something more if there is chemistry.
So when you make a date to go for coffee pick a neutral location that those people are familiar with. You can arranged to meet rather than having one person pick up the other, and of course you can also meet at a nearby park and walk over to the coffee shop if you like. And remember, the other person is likely to be just as nervous as you so stay relaxed and try to make your date feel comfortable. Enjoy the coffee, and remember to leave the barista a good tip!
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